Heart to Heart │ An Unexpected Life Update

Over the years, I’ve begun to realize that life is shaped by the unexpected.  The biggest impact on you and the course of your years will be the things you don’t see coming, the things you never planned for.  I look at my life, and the things that have made me who I am today are things that I didn’t anticipate: abruptly moving to the Philippines for two years when I was ten, which gave me a real look at what life is like on the other side of the world.  Slicing my left eye open when I was thirteen, leaving me in recovery for three months and a scar on my cornea.  Ellie, the starving feral kitten who, among other things, climbed into someone’s car engine and rode 100 miles on the freeway before I rescued her.  And of course, uploading a silly little makeup video to YouTube five years ago, thinking nothing of it…

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I’ve always been very private online when it comes to my personal life and family, but today, I would like to talk to you about my beautiful mother.  She is the most wonderful, intelligent, strong, caring woman I’ve ever known — and yes, I understand everyone says this about their mother, but I mean it: this woman is a gem.  She is unparalleled in character.  She is my person: my best friend, biggest fan, and greatest guide in life.

Which is why my world shattered when she was diagnosed with incurable cancer.

Cancer.  The “C” word.  We’re all aware that it’s around us.  Most people know somebody who has been affected by cancer, or have even experienced it themselves.  It’s in the books, the movies.  We see it in celebrities and public figures.  It always seemed so common to me… until it touched my mom.

How is the earth still spinning?  How can people be going about their day?  How can’t the entire world know that MY mom has cancer?  How can’t they feel it?

I realize this must be how it is for everyone.  Your world completely stops, and it feels unnatural to watch everyone else’s keep spinning.  You feel very alone, but you aren’t — there are almost fifteen million people in the US alone suffering from cancer.  Fifteen million people and their loved ones.

My mom has lung cancer that at the time of diagnosis had spread to her liver, lymph nodes, and bones.  She exhibited virtually no symptoms at the time, except for a painless lump that appeared on her neck, prompting her to see a doctor.  My family and I couldn’t believe it.  Lung cancer?  She hasn’t smoked a day in her life.  She’s a healthy person!  She’s a workaholic in a career that she loves, and she spends her free time staying active, working out in her yard or golfing.

While doctors have deemed her case incurable, we have not lost hope.  My mom is the strongest person I know, and if anyone can be an outlier, she can.  I’ve heard so many miracles about people with a terminal cancer that magically respond to treatment and live another 20 years.  If they can do it, I know there’s a possibility she can too.

I wanted to do this update to let you all know what’s going on in my life, and why things with my videos have been so sporadic lately.  I’ve been putting all of my energy into being with my family and helping my mom any way that I can.

This isn’t to say that all days are hard, or bad, or that I’m sad all the time.  It’s amazing how the brain will compartmentalize this level of stress and emotion.  There are days where we are genuinely all happy, laughing, smiling, and I go about my normal life: filming, seeing friends, etc.  When you see me smile in my videos, it’s real.  It’s a happy day, and I’m a happy girl.  But there are sad times too, the nights where I curl up and sob for hours on end.  It’s a rollercoaster of emotion.

I am very lucky to have great people in my life who are here for me in this time.  Friends, family, and neighbors have all been so emotionally supportive and helpful, and words cannot express how appreciative I am.

The things that shape your life and the person you become will not be things you expect.  This has never been more true for me than it is now.

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EDIT:  I am so touched by the response this post has gotten.  Each and every one of your comments is helpful and appreciated.  My mom has read them too, we feel so blessed to have so many wonderful people out there sending love our way.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • Olivia Frescura

    Oh no! I am so sorry to hear about this, but it’s so great of you to be by her side. Kudos! The internet waits :)

  • Alice

    You’re both beautiful. Stay strong and think positive thoughts <3 love you Allison

    • Allison Anderson

      Thank you <3

  • http://caffeinatedpinkaholic.blogspot.com/ Laura

    Thinking of you and your family and sending positive vibes your way!

  • Mandy Huey

    You and your mom seem like wonderful people. I have no doubt that you guys will be able to get through this. Stay strong! <3

  • Claudia

    I am so sorry to hear this Allison. I really hope she pulls through. I pray that you both and your family get through this, will be thinking of you! x

  • http://www.balmainbeauty.com Karen

    Hi Allison,

    Spending time with your Mum is important, please don’t feel bad about ignoring youtube etc. I hope your Mum isn’t in any pain and is surrounded by your loving family, be a strong unit and stay positive. Thinking of you and your Mum will br in my prayer’s. Big hugs, Karen

  • Julie Huynh

    Praying for you, Allison and praying for your mom. I hope you stay the happy and positive person even in difficult times.

  • Hillary Hiss

    How courageous of you to share this with the Internet and people that you don’t know. I can honestly say that you are my favorite beauty guru on YouTube. I always look forward to your new videos, and I check your blog every day for new posts! I’ve always thought of you as a positive person, and that’s going to help you tremendously in this. Stay strong, Allison. With love from Tennessee.

  • http://kiwifashionblog.blogspot.com/ kiwifashionblog

    Thank you for updating us, your viewers about what is happening around your life these days. I am so sorry to hear this is happening with your mum. I can not imagine how you all must have been feeling. I do not want to say, I understand how you feel, because I probably don’t. I want you to know that you will always have a group us viewers on the internet, thinking and praying for your mother. Stay strong, for her and for yourself. Lots of prayers sending in your way! <3

  • Staci

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Allison. Thinking about you & your Mom. I’m crying just when I finished reading & started typing. This made me think about Mom. She is my best friend too & I cannot image my life without her. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. Love you Allison! <3

  • http://gapprouve.blogspot.ca/ Geneviève

    I’m so sorry for you and your family Allison. Stay positive and strong.

  • http://loveforlacquer.com/ loveforlacquer

    So sorry to hear this! I will keep your mom & you in my thoughts! xo

  • Katherine Jeong

    Hi Allison,

    I’m so sorry to hear this. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. I work at a hospital, so I see how devastating it is to have a loved one affected by such an atrocious disease. This blogpost made me think about my mom and how heartbreaking it would be if this were to happen to my family. My mom is my rock and I can’t simply imagine a life without her. I guess I just wanted to say that I will keep you and your family in my prayers. You will get through this. (I’m sending you a virtual hug!)

    Warm regards,
    Katie

  • http://littbeauty-bug.blogspot.ca Krystal-Marie

    Wow! So shocking and sad to hear the story about your mom! I truly believe in her and you entire family and I know she can get through this! Thanks for sharing this with me and all your viewers!

    Krystal | Little Beauty Bug <3 & Tumblr

  • Sarah King

    Wow Allison! Thank you for the life update and I am sorry it was such a sad one. I can only imagine though how it feels to be in your shoes. I have the most wonderful relationship with my mother like you. It is such a blessing to have and I know that even if something, anything happens, that I was lucky enough to have it at all as I know so many people are not blessed with the same gift. However, I am hoping for the best as you really deserve it! I can’t help but wonder if their is all some purpose for this. Whether it is you giving us that sometimes much needed reminder that life is short and precious or that it is teaching you something that will change your life for the better. I hope you read this and even more, that it makes you feel better. Xoxoxo

  • RyaRaines

    I feel so sorry for you! I wish you a lot of strength and positivity.
    There ist something that might help your mum. It helped my mothers friend, who suffered from cancer. It´s barley grass. You can buy organic barley grass as powder and mix two tablespoons with water. She should drink it twice a day. There are many great beneficial ingredients in barley grass. I drink it myself (only 1 ts per day, as I´m not ill). Maybe you google it to find out more.

    Wish you all the best! Greetings from Germany

  • Jamie Alison Goodman

    I am praying for your mom and your entire family. My mom passed away when I was 17 years old. Tomorrow would have been her 45th birthday. I hope you don’t have to experience that pain and suffering for a very very long time. After my mom passed away someone told me that “if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.” I think of that often when I get upset and I honestly believe it.

  • http://theashleydavisproject.com/ Ashley

    Thank you so much for sharing this very person struggle with us. You and your mom and your entire family will be in my prayers. I can’t begin to imagine what your life is like right now. It’s very strong of you to share this with us. Thank you!

  • Elise Ozarowski

    Stay strong! And enjoy the little things.Thank you for sharing with us :) you have a world of support and now your mom does, too.

  • http://nueyork.blogspot.com nueyork

    Stay strong, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. It’s good to hear you are still having happy day, though.

  • Val

    I am so sorry to hear about your mom and give you family strength and an abundance of courage and love to get through this time! You are a strong person and just spend every second with your mom and family and create the best memories that you can now! Both my parents were diagnosed with cancer when I was 7 . My mom had stage 4 colorectal cancer that went to her liver with a 6% chance of living and she is still with me today kicking ass and out of the woods by almost a decade. My dad was diagnosed with the same cancer though stage 4+ and doctors only gave him 6 months but he was able to beat some odds and live a heartfelt battle for 3 1/2 years before he sadly passed away when I was 12. We are all here for you and know that anything can happen!
    Lots of love!

  • tearliner

    I’ve been watching your videos for a long time and I’ve always noticed that you often talk about your mom. And it seemed to me that you guys were so close, best friends. And I’ve always admired that. It really saddens me to read this post (I had a few tears, not gonna lie). I only hope the best of the best for your mom and pray for a little miracle. Stay strong!

  • http://brittannytaylor.com/ Brittanny

    You’re a strong woman. I’m sending positive thoughts to your mother and your family.

  • Jordyn Wilson

    Praying for you and your family, Allison! You are in my thoughts and prayers <3

  • Elizabeth L

    stay strong Allison!

  • Jessica Beck

    praying for your family!

  • http://www.esrasevgi.com/ Esra Sevgi

    Sending much love and prayers for you and your family <3 Stay strong!

  • Ashley

    My mom was diagnosed a few months ago with acute myeloid leukemia and went into the hospital two days after her diagnosis with 95% of her bone marrow consisting of leukemic cells. She originally spent 44 days in the hospital, took 2 weeks off, and was back in for 22 days. She still needs to go for a stem cell transplant, but she is currently in remission! The best thing I can say is to be as present as you can and supportive of your mom. My mom is also my best friend and an all-around badass and we are getting through this together; you can too.

  • Taylor

    We found out a few months ago my Grandma has lung cancer. The exact
    same thing your mom has. She never smoked a day in her life either. It
    is every where in her body. i’m currently living in a state across the
    country from my family. Take your time to spend it with her and your
    family. Youtube and the internet will always be here.. I hope we can
    find a cure for cancer someday and help make our love ones in less pain.
    It’s not a fair world but it’s life. Take it one day at a time and just
    stay positive. PS – the song Believer by American Authors helps me feel good (: <3

  • alexandraaJ

    Aww Allison you’re one of my favorite youtubers ever. I have commented that on several of your videos. I’m so sorry to hear this happened to your mother but I will keep her in my prayers!

    P.S. I’m from the Philippines, and I am curious to know about your stay here! maybe a vlog? :)

  • http://justthesteff.blogspot.com/ Stephanie

    I’m so sorry to hear this. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman. Sending you both positive thoughts <3

  • melzo38

    I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Your blog so well written and certainly true in everything you pointed out. Your mom, family and you will be in my prayers. Research and research, don’t give up hope….God works in mysterious ways. Please be with your family we will all be here for you and be happy when you have a moment to post or upload. Your mom needs you, take in every moment.

  • Melanie

    I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Your blog so well written and
    certainly true in everything you pointed out. Your mom, family and you
    will be in my prayers. Research and research, don’t give up hope….God
    works in mysterious ways. Please be with your family we will all be
    here for you and be happy when you have a moment to post or upload.
    Your mom needs you, take in every moment.

  • Christina Larsen

    You know, I *knew* something was off. I actually was going to ask you to do an update video, to figure out what it was. I am so sorry to hear this news about your mom. You are both lucky to have each other. Just love her, like you do.

  • Mafer Cantú

    So sorry to hear that Allison, stay strong!

  • Susan

    Beautifully, beautifully written, Allison. My dad was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer that had spread to his liver just over four years ago and given about 90 days to live at the time of diagnosis. Through the help of his doctors, friends, family and prayers he is still alive today and relatively healthy, although, still not cancer free, unfortunately. I wish you as much time with your mom as possible and peace during this process. I, too, think of my dad as one of those special people and he has been strong enough to make it through the many trials of dealing cancer. It truly takes a village of people to battle a disease like that, and it sounds like your mom has got a great support system around her!

  • http://happyprimpin.com Amanda C

    I’m so sorry to hear this Allison! Your mom will be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you will find encouragement and stay positive <3

  • Katie

    So sorry to hear this Allison! Praying for you and your family at this time. Stay strong and keep the faith. xoxox

  • C. D.

    Oh dear. I am so sorry to hear this. I know there are miracles every single day. Get a 2nd, 3rd and 4th Dr’s opinion if you need to! I have a family member that has bone cancer and was given 6 months and I believe that was 10 years ago now! Wishing you and your family the best. Stay strong and don’t give up hope. xoxo

  • Leeann

    Thinking of you, Allison. My grandpa passed away suddenly this past January and it’s still hard for my family. It’s rough when someone you love suddenly is going through the unthinkable. Your mother is so lucky to have you as a daughter :)

  • http://ladyporter.blogspot.com ladyporter

    I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now, its so heartbreaking. Stay strong, we are all here for you and love you! xx

  • jenna

    so sorry to hear about your mom allison :( I had a similar experience with my aunt, she exhibited no symptoms other than a small lump which turned out to be breast cancer. She made it through 2 more cancer relapses before we all knew that she had lost her fight. I know its easier said than done but try to stay positive, wishing the best for you and your mom <3

  • Gabriela

    So sad to read that :( but it’s true, you should never lose hope, my dad was diagnosed with incurable cancer twice, doctors gave him six months, that was almost over ten years and he’s still here, more alive than ever xx sending my best wishes for both of you <3

  • http://gonenaturallove.blogspot.ca/ Stephanie

    Sorry to hear! Sending lots of love and prayers your way! :(

  • http://www.themakeupwriteup.com/ Carolyn @ The Makeup Writeup

    Hi Allison, I’ve never commented before, but I just had to leave a comment after reading this post. I’m so sorry to hear what your mom, you, and your family are going through. My heart breaks for you! You’re so right that the things that shape one’s life is not always something you can expect. I lost my dad suddenly and unexpectedly a few years ago, and it’s definitely been the most defining time of my life. I just wanted to say though, that you seem very strong, and everyone is pulling for you, your mom, and your family! Hugs!

  • Abby-Rae Knappenberger

    I totally feel for you Allison. Cancer is one of the most terrible things on this planet that we can’t always control, how we get it and how we beat it. All you can do is be strong for the person diagnosed and continue to endlessly and unconditionally love that person and care for them. I lost my grandfather and my great aunt to cancer and it’s done its damage, but also strengthened and healed our family in some ways. The treatment period is the main hard part, never knowing if it’s actually helping or if you have to continue treatments. If you lose the person, that’s another hard obstacle. Don’t give up hope!

  • yyuura

    I am so sorry to hear about this. Both of my grandfathers had cancer and lost their battles so I understand what you’re going through. Please take time to be with your family and enjoy it! We can wait by your side for when you do come back to YouTube! Sending prayers your way, Allison!

  • http://www.noirettediary.com/ Siham Hamdan

    Allison this broke my heart :( I’m so sorry that you’re going through this but I will pray for you and your beautiful mom so she gets better. My mom has been going through something bad for the past 3 months and she’s not getting any better, I know how awful this must be for your family. Please let your mom know that she’s in our prayers and always have faith that everything will get better. Sending you so much love, stay strong!! XX

  • Laura Patania

    Allison, my heart goes out to you and your family at this terrible time. If you have a minute, please take a look at Victoria’s Quilts (http://www.victoriasquilts.com). They are a non-profit charity that create quilts for people who are going through cancer. My Aunt was diagnosed with lung cancer several months ago and she is speeding along the road to recovery. Her quilt was heartfelt and remains a symbol of unconditional love and support. I’m sure your Mom would love it. Stay strong, be well.
    xo Laura

  • Izabella Kaminski

    Allison,look into the Gershon Therapy. They cure all cancers just like it cured my mom. She is cancer free 6 years now. Please look into it. God bless.

  • Julie

    Oh dear!! What strength you showed in sharing this news and inviting us all to join you on this journey as your cheerleaders and support, in addition to the love you are already surrounded with from your family and friends. Blessings to you in this time!!

  • Lindsey Smith

    My heart breaks for you and your family. I am sending so much love and prayers to you and yours. I am at a loss of words and have been trying to type this for the past hour….I’m just so sad for you. You’re such an amazing person and I just know your mother is equally inspiring and amazing because she raised you. I believe in miracles everyday and I just know your mother will fight through this. Love you Allison xx

  • Lauren Schroer

    Sending you, your mom, and your loved ones positive vibes! My heart goes out to you all. My mom is my best friend too so I can imagine how you might feel right now. Stay strong!

  • Julie Chursinoff

    Wow, I’m so sorry to hear you are having to go through this! I will stay positive and hope with you, that she will surpass this and come through healthy. Cancer recently greatly affected my own life, losing a very special friend of mine to it… I can’t imagine the pain you and your family are going through, every bit of positive energy is coming your way. I hope you know all of us subscribers who have been a part of your life for so long, are loving you and supporting you through this time. We love you, thank you for sharing this with us!

  • Marissa

    Praying for you and your family, Allison. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. The best thing you can do for your mom is be strong. I know it’s easier said than done though. Take all the time you need away from videos and blogging. We will be here no matter what.

    -Marissa

  • Nadine

    I am so sorry to hear this news. I send my deepest prayers to you and your mother. Stay strong! xxxxxxxx

  • http://eroswrites.com/ Angelique. – eroswrites.com

    Sending you love and prayers from Australia! Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us x

  • Melissa Pang

    What a beautifully written post even it is about a sad event. I totally agree that the unexpected events in your life are what shape you the most. And also, in those challenging events, you really do get to see how strong of a person you are as well as your true character. Thank you for sharing this Allison and I wish you, your mum and your family the best!

  • Alli Stewart

    Allison,

    I am so sorry to hear about what you and your family are going through. I can’t imagine how hard this is for all of you – I know that my world would stop if either of my parents faced such a diagnosis.

    I have had several family members and friends face cancer head on. Throughout those experiences the one thing I have learned is that support can be the best medicine. Just the presence and collective will of loved ones can make a difference where everything else falters. Your strength and support will make a world of difference for her, and just know that you have so many of us here for you too. Sending strength, love, and positive thoughts to you and your family! <3

    Alli

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=63210508 Ashley Spaustat

    Praying for your mom, beautiful. I am so sorry :( I lost my father to the same.

  • Kaitlyn Comer

    This post brought tears to my eyes! Prayers to you and your family.

  • Mandy

    Stay strong Allison. I believe your mom can pull through this. :)

  • http://thatimperfectstranger.wordpress.com Benazir

    My thoughts and prayers with your lovely mother and family.

  • http://www.pixieinpumps.com/ Pixie in Pumps

    I’m so sorry Allison. <3 <3 <3

  • Casie

    Allison, words cannot express how sorry I am to hear this. I am sitting here crying my eyes out (and I am NOT a crier) as I type this. But I’ve watched your videos for many years now and I feel, in my mind at least, as if you are a friend. I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through, but I do know that it is incredibly brave of you to allow us to be a part of it. I just hope you know how many people love and support you and are rooting for both you and your mother. You are amazing, and that must mean she is, too.

  • Beth

    Allison, I’m not sure if you’re a Christian but I felt I should share this quote with you: “Christ does not always immediately calm the storm, but He is always willing to calm His child on the basis of His presence.”—Beth Moore

    Praying for your mom and family

    • Joyce Enjoydotcom

      I’m not religious at all, but if I were, that’d be a quote that would give me so much comfort, it’s beautiful.

  • erinrapp07

    Thank you for sharing your personal and private side of your life with us, Allison. You already share so much with us, complete strangers, and we appreciate you trusting us with your feelings and your honesty is refreshing.
    Cancer is tough and scary and horrible and terrible and inspiring…there are a million words to describe it and just as many emotions that accompany it.
    I hope my personal experiences can bring you some comfort. In total I’ve lost my father, two grandparents, an aunt and three family friends to the disease, but I’ve also had just as many survive. The diagnosis makes you feel sick to your stomach, but remember a diagnosis is never a death sentence; science advances every day and miraculous things happen before our eyes. I hope that your mother finds peace and happiness, regardless of the outcome of her treatment — and I hope you find it within yourself. Sending much love and good thoughts your way!

    • Allison Anderson

      I’m sorry to hear that cancer has touched so many of your loved ones. You’re right, a diagnosis is never a final say in how things will turn out. We are keeping the faith that we can fight this! Thank you for the love and good thoughts. :)

  • Teresa Miranda

    What a beautifully written post! It can’t have been easy, I admire you for that. Sending love, keeping my fingers crossed and praying that your mom gets through it. Stay strong!! <3

  • xojlc9458 .

    I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I really appreciate you sharing something so personal with all of us. You’re mom must be so proud of the strong, smart and beautiful daughter she has. Please continue to be strong and know that we are all thinking of your family. XOXO

  • Victoria Johnson

    Wow, I’m tearing up for you and your family but I will pray for your mom! Stay strong!

  • Leslie

    So sorry to hear this. Sending lots of love your way!

  • Yessenia Vienna

    I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I can’t imagine anyone close to me battling cancer. I did think it was strange you weren’t uploading as usual. I’ve been watching your videos since the beginning. Thank you for sharing with us. You sound so strong and so grown up in your post which only means your mom must be the same way.

  • elyvien

    Stay strong Allison! I never knew that you stayed in the Philippines. I am from the PH and I know what you mean, living in the country. **wink wink** I hope that you stay strong and hope that your mom recovers. Remember, this too shall pass. =)

  • reneeb136 .

    God Bless your mom , you and your family i will keep you in prayer. my mo also was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. i can honestly say i no how you feel and what you are going through. try and stay strong 1 day at a time…. xoxo

  • http://www.allisongberg.wordpress.com Alli G

    Oh my goodness Allison, I am so sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing this story
    with us, my mom went through a health scare in May and we thought she was going to have a second brain surgery. I feel your emotions through this post so much, that I am sitting here crying! You are so incredibly brave and strong, especially to go public with this. I can’t say that I had enough strength to do the same back in May. Keep being amazing! If you need to chat with another beauty blogger named Allison, I am here!

  • lew

    I’m so sorry. Words never seem adequate in times like these, but my thoughts are with you & your family.

  • jennifermccall

    My cousins mother was diagnosed with cancer last year. She was told that there was a very small chance they could remove it and she probably didn’t have much longer. A few weeks ago she was told that her cancer is in remission. Miracles happen every day. You’re mother will be in my thoughts and prayers! I can’t imagine the pain you are going through.

  • Alison

    I’m so, so sorry. Please take all the time you need to, and know my thoughts are with you.

  • Natalie Larson

    I am so sorry to hear this..it hits so very close to home for me. A little over 4 years ago my dad was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, having never smoked a day in his life. He was in his late fifties and in amazing shape. It will be a hard road, but you have the exact attitude required for this type of battle. I hope your mom lives out many more years, and with modern medicine and a fighting attitude she absolutely can! My dad lived twice as long as predicted by his doctors, and he fought hard. There will be good and bad days, but just remember you are not alone and there are millions of people who can relate. Cry when you need to, but continue to be a source of light and love for your mom. That is invaluable to the person enduring the brunt of the battle. My thoughts are with you girl xoxo

  • http://www.mascarawarrior.com/ Em @ Mascara Warrior

    It was about five years ago that my father was diagnosed with cancer. It’s entirely earth-shattering to find out that your invincible, superhero parent is just as mortal as everyone else. I know exactly what you’re going through, and it sucks. Sending lots of love from my family to yours ♥

  • Andrea T

    I’m really sorry to hear about her. She sounds like an amazing woman. Please stay strong and know that we are all rooting for her. Thanks for being so open about your life and for sharing something so personal. All my deep respect and admiration for you.

  • LivLuvsFashion .

    Allison, I am so sorry. I have been a long time fan of your videos and you are always so bright and positive. Don’t lose that! My grandma is going through almost the exact same thing- she beat breast cancer 10 years ago. 3 years ago she was diagnosed with a different form of breast cancer even though she had already had a double masectomy (chances for that alone are very slim). While testing for that cancer, the doctors realized that it had spread to her bones. She has been staying active with pilates and takes a concoction of various vitamins and supplements that she swears keeps her healthier. I am praying for your mom. Mentality and her outlook are EVERYTHING in a time like this, and she sounds like she is just as positive and beautiful as you are, so she’s already off to a great start! Praying for her, and for you and the rest of your family. xxxx – -Olivia

  • Victoria

    That was beautiful, awe inspiring, phenomenal. I love the way you described it. So real and heart wrenching. You could be a writer for a living! Gods blessings to you and your family, and remember that NOT ONE sparrow falls to the earth without him knowing, so think of how much more he loves and cares for your mom and family. Love from Wyoming

  • Rachel

    Allison, I know you hear all the time of how strong the people with cancer need to be, but people underestimate how strong the family members of those who have the disease need to be. You are strong, beautiful, intelligent, and your mom raised a wonderful daughter. I hope and pray that your mom’s battle with cancer ends soon, and she can continue living her life without the disease. It’s a horrible thing, cancer, but if your mom is the way you portrayed her to be in this post, I know she will survive.

  • Jennifer X

    I said a prayer for her and family. Thank you for sharing this with us. I think that such a strong woman has raised a strong daughter. <3

  • Christine

    I am so so sorry to hear about your mom, but don’t ever lose hope. And make the most of every moment you have with her. Blog posts and videos can be made later, but the memories you two make now will be forever. I can sort of relate because last year my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer – for the second time – and this year my dad was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer. In fact, it was just yesterday that he decided not to go ahead with chemo. He saw what I went through a few years ago when *I* had breast cancer. Sadly cancer is an all too familiar problem in my family these days. My dad is my everything, so I definitely can sort of relate to your story. You definitely are not alone and your mom is quite lucky to have you there with her as well. All the best to your mom, you and the rest of your family.

  • Mariah Ann Keyse

    You both are truly beautiful people <3 Your sincerity glows through your words. You have a refreshing and positive attitude, and that will carry you and your loved ones throughout your mother's journey. I pray everything with treatment goes well and that your mother kicks her cancer's ass!

  • Amy Brown

    Thank you for sharing this with us Allison, I’m so sorry to hear it. You are in my prayers.

  • Internal Chic

    My prayers go out to you and your family. I have never had to experience a situation such as this, but I understand how hard it must be and want to encourage you to always have hope. I have read stories of many people who has cured ‘incurable’ cancer through changing their diet and whilst I have no knowledge of your mothers eating habits or exact situation, I just thought I would mention it? I wish you all the love in the world, and will be supporting and thinking of you, your family and your mother x

  • Rebecca

    Allison, I’m so sorry for this. Cancer is so horrible; once it hits one person, it hits the entire family. I understand what you’re going through because my own mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer but unfortunately lost her three year battle this past July. I’m only 14, but I’m so glad you are spending as much time possible with your beautiful mom. I hope and pray your mom will get through this! You all will, and no matter what happens, we will be here to always offer you our love and support! Bless you and especially your mom.

  • Carly

    I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, Allison. Over the course of the past 11 years, my mom has gone through 3 separate diagnoses, so I know exactly how you feel as a care giver. You definitely do feel alone and like no one understands your cancer story, but even if they don’t completely get it, they are still there for you none the less. Even though each cancer story is uniquely terrifying, everyone is there to support you in any way they can. But like you mentioned, your mom is a tough cookie and you never know what can happen. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Stay strong :)

  • Beauty Lyme

    I am just so very sorry to read this. Stay strong. Sending lots of healing vibes from the other side of the Atlantic xx

  • Lauren

    Thank you for sharing Allison. I’m so sorry to hear what your family is going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, and especially your mom. Hugs.
    -Lauren

  • http://blousesandblush.com/ Lindsey

    My mom’s best friend has stage 4 breast cancer that has basically spread everywhere. Watching her and her battle has completely shifted my perspective on life. I can’t even imagine having my mother in this fight. I’ll be praying for you and your family, Allison.

  • Alison Mahlebashian

    Allison, this touched my heart and made me cry. You’re not only a beautiful writer, but a beautiful person inside and out! I am really sorry to hear about all that you and your family are going through right now. I wish I had a close relationship with my mom, yet my mom randomly came down with a mental illness around 8 years ago. It was something I did not see coming and my mom to me was so normal. Now my mom is homeless and I feel like I wish there was something I could do to help her. The lesson I learned from all of this is to stay true to yourself and continue to just love your mom, no matter what! Stay strong may sound like a cliche saying, but it has been a saying that has helped me overcome a lot over the past years. Love you so much and I wish you and your family the best of luck during these hard times!!

  • Bethanie

    I don’t know what your faith is like- if you believe in God at all, or even just a little. One thing I do know is that he’s chasing after you, adoring you, and just waiting for you to find peace in him. God didn’t make this happen to your mom, but he WILL use it to draw you closer to him so you can see just how much he adores you. Not everything happens for a reason, but he uses everything for a purpose that’s far beyond what we know! Praying for you and your family, and especially your mom. We all love and support you!

  • Victory Ford

    Allison,

    I’ve been a subscriber of your youtube channel for more than 3 years now. Seeing this post by chance today, my heart just dropped. I know I’m only one of your many subscribers, but I now realize you were there for me, your videos got me through my frantic preps for first dates, through boring dorm room nights, through the procrastination before midterms and finals. Last year this time I was diagnosed with the C word myself. And a year later, It’s still an emotional warfare everyday. I just genuinely want you to know, like so many others, I’m here for you. We are here for you. Your lovely mom, your beautiful family is in my prayers.

    All the best wishes and most powerful prayers,
    Peyton.

    • Allison Anderson

      Thanks so much, Peyton. I’m so sorry to hear about your cancer, I hope that everything is going well for you. Thank you for the support, and for keeping my family in your thoughts. I will keep you in mine as well!

      • Glory Eriksen Gupta

        Allison, if you’re mom is still alive, there’s hope. Cancer runs in my family’s reproductive organs (men & women) so I know a thing or two about grief, loss, fighting … bargaining, you name it. Atm, my mom is in remission but my dad’s prostate is active. This time we are doing things a bit differently. I want to tell you, but I can’t post about it. This is no joke, I have nothing to sell you, I don’t need anything from you. If you privately contact me through FB Messenger or my first two names at gmail dot com (don’t use my married name), I promise to be discreet with your information if you promise the same. Seriously, her life might depend on you contacting me, not to be dramatic or anything.
        Take very good care,
        Glory Eriksen

  • Steph

    Thinking of you during this difficult time. Sending positive thoughts your way.

  • http://melaniface.blogspot.com.au/ melaniface

    Sorry to hear that Allison. My Aunty was diagnosed with cancer & it looked quite bad for a while but you wouldn’t even know it from looking at her now. You are right to have hope because anything can happen. xoxo

  • Tarryn B

    *hug* I’m so sorry you and your family are hurting. You don’t know me, and I never comment on your blogs (despite always reading them) but I thought I should say something on this post.

    You are right. You’re not alone. You are not the only daughter that watches these things happen to her mom, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that this so real and scary and horrible. In this moment, you are the only one. And you’re allowed to be. For me, that’s how it felt when my own mother was diagnosed with cancer.

    Unlike your mom, mine has had a history of cancer dating back to her 20’s. So, you’d think that when she went (by chance, mind you) to the doctor and they found something…that it wouldn’t be a shock. But it was. My whole world came crashing down. I was also so angry because I felt like she should have been keeping an eye on her health. I thought she had been doing so!

    It’s been 10 years since that diagnosis. Sometime in the middle of it, she was diagnosed again. This time, with a different cancer. This time, brain cancer. And in such a spot that it can’t be removed. So, all she can do is manage it.

    And you know what? It’s been about 4 years. She watched the friends she met during treatment die. She saw her own mortality, and yet she carries on thriving and living and loving. My mom is strong. Our moms are strong. They have to be.

    I work for a company that handles the PR for a pharmaceutical company. One of the main drugs they produce is for lung cancer. Lung cancer is the worst kind. Many of our patients don’t make it. But so many of them also push through. This shows that despite everything, there is always hope.

    Hold on tight and let your mom know how much you love her every moment you can. Life can slip away so quickly and regretting you never said what you wanted to say can be just as shattering as losing the person you love. I’m so sorry and I hope you get to spend years and years more with her.

  • Caty Movich

    Allison,

    I am so so sorry for this horrible news and understand the unshakeable emotions that come along with it. I lost my mom to breast cancer four years ago. Your mom sounds wonderful, and with what you have told us about her strength, I know that she will put up a tremendous fight.

    Thinking of your family, your mom, and you.

    <3,
    Caty

  • Francesca La

    Hi Allison! I’ve been following your channel for a long time and you are my favorite Youtuber. I do not always comment on videos and posts but I really enjoy every video you make. I am so sorry to hear that your mom has cancer. I really hope that she beats cancer and recovers soon. I am really close to my mom, too. Even the thought of losing her can make me cry-so I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now. I wish you and your family luck, strength and health. Love you x

  • leahmacev

    Though our experiences are vastly different, I can wholeheartedly relate with many of the ideas you articulated in this post. I lost my dad suddenly 11 years ago this November, and it was striking to me how the world around me continued to go on while my own little world crumbled. Even now, years later, I sometimes find myself frustrated that everyone else seems to have forgotten what happened, while I’ll never be able to. It’s amazing how consuming it can be when we’re faced with circumstances beyond our control.
    Thank you for your vulnerability and for the update. You, your family, and your beautiful mother are in my thoughts and prayers – I mean that. Peace to you and yours in the coming days. xo Leah

  • Ashleigh

    Allison, I am very sorry for what you are going through. I’ve been subscribed to you for 4 years now, and your videos have gotten me through some very dark times, just by giving me an opportunity to lay down for a while and chill out and watch. You’ll be in my prayers and I’ll be thinking of you at this hard time. I’m rooting for you, and your mom. <3

  • Alexandra Nyx

    Stay strong and positive Allison – for your mom and for yourself :* :* :*

  • MakeupDiva84

    Hey Allison, Sorry to hear about your mom. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. Cancer is just awful, I wouldn’t wish any kind of it on anyone. My mom’s best friend, who she hasn’t seen in about 15 years, was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, it’s upsetting. And my mom keeps telling me that she still can’t believe it. I can’t either, but they caught it early. I hate that you have to go through this, but you’re not alone. Anyways, just try to be strong, for your mom and stay positive. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!!

  • Farah Temsamani

    I lost my dad to colon cancer last September. It was the most unexpected thing that ever happened to me and to my family. He was only diagnosed with it three weeks prior to his death. And the time span for me to realise, accept, help and grieve was too short for anyone to live with. My dad and I were extremely close and I looked up to him on every level there was. He was a genuinely beautiful and generous person.
    In my experience, no matter how great the support of relatives has been, nothing and no one could have helped me deal with all the negative feelings and fear and anger and grief. Life snatched away what was most precious to me and it’s unfair.
    But, life doesn’t go on being always as dark as you might think it would, there are good days, and there are bad days. And what keeps the person alive despite them not being physically there is to cherish every memory you had with them. And if you believe in God, then be sure that they are in a better place, and mostly, and as crazy as this sounds, be thankful that they are not enduring the suffering anymore.
    I wish you mother a miraculous recovery, and may you have with her many beautiful memories worth remembering always.
    I guess we are from different faiths, but I will pray to my Allah for her today.

    Stay positive, and stay strong.
    Love,
    Farah

  • Melissa Iris

    My dad was diagnosed and treated for colon cancer two years ago and is currently in remission. I truly believe that positive thoughts create positive outcomes. It might seem hard and it IS hard but something good will come of this. Just keep positive thoughts as much as you can. I will be praying for your family.

  • Bianca

    I am so sorry to hear about your mom :( I was 19 when I was diagnosed and the second the doctor told me it was like a bomb went off and all I heard was ringing in my ear, I lost all of my senses.
    I have been doing a lot of research and I have come to realize that there is a cure for cancer that the pharmaceutical companies don’t want us to know about because chemotherapy and radiation treatments are a multi-billion dollar a year industry. My chemo treatments alone cost $9,000 a week! The cure is cannibis oil and even the past presidents have done everything they could to keep marijuana illegal because they get kickbacks from the big pharma companies. It is sad that people have become nothing but a number but it’s up to us to put a stop to it.
    I read a story about a young man diagnosed with colon cancer at 24 years of age. His family was pressuring him to do the chemo but he refused, instead he went solely on a plant based raw diet. Within 3 months he was cancer free without any of the side effects. If I could do it over again I would NEVER do chemo or even wish it on my worst enemy. It has taken away any chance of having children, sending me through menopause at 21. Right now my lungs function at 70% but the worst is that I have congestive cardiomyopathy; basically my heart functions at 39% on a good day. Within 3 years I may need a heart transplant. I am in constant pain every day to the point of being bed ridden a lot of days.
    I didn’t get my “monthly friendly visit” for 9 years because of going through menopause, until I went 6 weeks eating nothing but organic and cutting out all processed foods, anything with any chemical in it was not touching my lips. I did it to help with my health not realizing that within that short amount of time I reversed my menopause, my body has begun to heal itself just with food!
    Another young cancer patient I read about was a 14 year old girl diagnosed with leukemia and given no chance of survival after 3 years if chemo and radiation. They finally stopped treatment as it wasn’t working but her parents thought the cannibis oil was worth a shot since they had no other hope. Within weeks her cancer was GONE! Nothing showed up on car scans or blood tests! Unfortunately she didn’t get to live much longer, the side effects of chemo and radiation were too severe and caused multiple organ failure.
    I’m sorry to ramble on but I wanted to show you that there is hope. I will be praying for your mom and your family. Cancer isn’t just fought by the patient, but also by everyone that loves that person. God bless!

  • rachelle macneill

    Allison,I am literally crying while writing this,I am SOOOO SORRY! I hpe & pray your Mom will get through this and your family also. You are a very brave peron to share tis with us,but there are ALOT of subscribers out there ,including myself that feel like we somewhat know you,even though we don’t know that much about your personal life, but we genuinely care about you and your well being…I hope you can find the strength and I don’t know if you have God in your life or not, but it would def help to pick up The Bible and just pray. I will be praying for you and your family…

  • http://debasreeb.blogspot.in/ Debasree Banerjee

    I always used to think that even though Cancer was so common nowadays it wouldn’t effect anyone I knew, but recently a very close friend lost his mom due to blood cancer and I realised it can happen to anybody and anytime. I am sending you all my strength and love, and I know your mom will fight through it. I can totally understand how hard it must have been to type this post, and I hope my comment can translate into a hug for you. I see a lot of love and prayers for you in the comments down below, and I hope this makes you feel better when you are feeling low and need some support.

  • Kara

    I am so sorry to hear this Allison! I can’t imagine what you must be going through. You are your Mum are beautiful and this is such a well written post. Stay strong xx

  • Katie

    Keeping you, your mom, and your family in my thoughts and prayers. <3

  • Miranda

    I wish you and your family a lot of strenght in this diffecult time.

  • Ana Mari Marcos Galera

    Praying for you and your mom. Praying for peace and strength.

  • Astrid De Clercq

    Allison, I’m so sorry to hear about this. I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now. Your mom does look like an amazing woman and I hope she’ll get better. Lots of love <3
    Astrid

  • Laura S.

    Allison, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I’ve been watching you on youtube and reading your blog for a long time, and you have become one of the people I look up to. I am keeping your family in my thoughts, and I know that your mom will fight this with everything she has. Stay strong.
    Lots of love from Canada

  • http://aclotheslook.com Jessica Andrews

    This is sad news, I know the stingy feeling of hearing that diagnosis both of my parents passed away due to cancer. The advice I can give you even though it’s rough don’t use your days with her (whether it’s a year or twenty) dwelling on this horrible disease and be present. From my experience I would sometimes let my mind wander thinking about the “what ifs”. I’m sure your mom is strong and I will keep you both in my thoughts. I’m so sorry this disease has touched you and your family.

  • http://tinaknights.blogspot.com Tina Knights

    Sending you and your family lots of love ♥

  • http://thebeautysection.com Anna @ The Beauty Section

    Oh I’m so sorry Allison! I will definitely be praying for your mom and your whole family as you join with her on this journey! Thank you for opening up and sharing your story with us!

  • http://www.glossyblonde.com/ Niki Caron

    I’m so sorry Allison. I can imagine how hard this is on you and your family, including, of course, your mother. My parents were both diagnosed with cancer within weeks of each other, right after I got engaged, and one of the best times of my life was also one of the hardest. It is not easy and you’ll have ups and downs, but remember to enjoy the time you spend together and never take a moment for granted. Your mom is in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Jenn

    I’m so sorry to hear this sad news, Allison. Your mom sounds like an amazing and strong woman and she is lucky to have such a caring and kind daughter. Thank you for having the courage to share this part of your life. I hope that the good days far outnumber the bad days. Keeping you and your family in my prayers. xoxo Jenn

  • Mikala

    I am so sorry to hear this Allison and I am sending my prayers to you and your family!!

  • http://vodkaandarose.blogspot.co.uk/ Jessica Rose

    Sending lots of love and wishes to you and your family during this difficult time. x

  • Aleksandra

    Oh dear… I know how unreal and heartbreaking it is when you find out such a bad news :( It’s terrible, and nothing I can say can’t help you feeling better.
    My dad had a bladder cancer and luckly found out at time, later on he had a surgery and they made him artificial bladder from his guts. The recovery is and was hard, he lost 15kg and till the rest of his life he must look at the clock and go to the toilette every two hours cause he can’t feel that his bladder is full. It is horrible but at least there was a surgery as an option…. I hope some king of mirracle brings healing to your mom <3

  • Ewa

    My mum had a breast cancer. She’s fine now, but we are still scarred. Try to be optimistic! I know it’s hard, but sometimes a smile can save you.

  • Allie

    Sending prayers for comfort, recovery, and strength. Your positive attitude and spirit are just another type of medicine for that wonderful woman you call mom. Miracles DO happen every day!

  • Maggie

    Allison I’m so very sorry. No words can ever describe how you must be feeling. My mother is an oncologist, if you ever need someone to talk to she would be more than happy to talk to you. My thoughts are with you and your wonderful mother.

    http://thatsmagsforyou.wordpress.com

  • Rafidah R

    Hi Allison,

    I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Believe it or not, I’ve been exactly where you are right now in life. I lost my mom to lung cancer 5 years ago. similarly to your mom, my mom never smoked and was perfectly healthy until she caught a cold and couldn’t stop coughing for a few months and went for a check up at a clinic.

    Anyways what I would like to say is to stay strong for your mom, spend every free waking minute you have with her, go on mini adventures together,take lots and lots of pictures and videos together especially silly ones that makes both of you smile and laugh, talk about your dreams and her dreams in life, listen to all of her favorite songs with her, sing and dance to the songs together, watch old childhood movies that both of you love together, get to know her life story, create a mom’s best secret recipes book together for all her home-cooked meals you love, tell her you love her everyday and just be there for her.

    That’s what I would have done more of if I would have gotten the chance to rewrite the past.

    Lots of love and prayers for your mom, you, and your family.

  • http://www.itsaboutbeauty.nl/ Geanne

    I’m so sorry for you and your family! My prayers are with your family, stay strong!

  • Julie Mandon

    Stay strong Allison. We are here for you all the way through this if you want to talk about it or not. Just know people think about you, your mom and your family.

  • Cynthia K

    My thoughts and prayers are with you Allison. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through, but what I do know is that even though most of us here who follow and watch your YT videos are sort of faceless and nameless to you, there are SO many of us who are here for you and rooting for and praying for you and your momma. You are a very strong, intelligent and genuine woman as we have all come to see through your insightful blog posts and wonderful videos and your mom is so lucky to have such an amazing daughter. Whatever you do, don’t pressure yourself to be here for us. Spend time with your mom and family and enjoy life. We will be here for you whenever you’re ready or wanting to connect. As with many others, I’m here for you too. Hugs to you!

  • Danielle

    Hi Allison,

    Like so many people who’ve already commented, I’ve been a subscriber and reader for many years. I’ve always enjoyed watching your videos and have identified with you. Now maybe more than ever. This April my dad was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer and we’ve been on the emotional rollercoaster that is cancer ever since. We, too, have been able to laugh and enjoy ourselves as a family eventhough we’re going through such a hard time. His doctor told us something that has stuck with me ever since: “No one ever knows how long they have on this earth, the only thing we have is today.” I’ve started to realise that the only thing we can do as a family is enjoy every minute we can spend together and make memories for the times we can’t. I wish you and your family all the strength in the world and remember to make lots of memories.

    Love,
    Danielle

  • http://www.impressionblend.com/ Marianna Neal

    Allison, I am so sorry to hear about what happened. Your mom and you are beautiful strong ladies, and I wish you and your family all of the power and strength in the universe. Sending you love and positive thoughts with all my heart.

  • Mkenny1871 .

    Hi Allison, I’m
    Sure you will hear all kinds if stories about all of what you are going through. I just lived through it with a family member. I have nothing but hope and prayers for you! Enjoy every moment you can. Life is short and there is always something to smile about. Even in the darkest moments. The love you and your mom shares if forever!!!! She is always a part of you! Best hopes and wishes.
    Megan

  • Caitlin Murdock

    Thank you for being so vulnerable during this difficult time, Allison. I am praying for you and your sweet mama.

  • Nikia C.

    I’m so sorry to hear what your family is going through. My mother passed away from lung cancer when I was just 17 years old, and like your mother, she was not a smoker. I’m praying that your mother pulls through and remains strong during this difficult time and my prayers are with you and your family as well.

  • Bana S

    As someone who isn’t religious, I can’t exactly tell you that you’re in my prayers, or anything along those lines, but, I can strongly say that I am so proud of you for posting your touching story and genuinely wish you and your family have the strength to get through rough times. xoxo

  • http://youtube.com/user/emswanders ❁ Emma Svensson ❁

    I am so so sorry for your mum,you and the rest of your family and friends.There is absolutely nothing I can day or do to make it any easier on anyone but I do have a story for you.When my stepgrandmas brother was 5 he was told he wouldn’t live a day older than 13 because of the brain damage he was born with.He is now 93 years old.If there is something me and my family believes in it’s hope.

  • Christina

    So sorry to hear this. I’ll be thinking about you, your mom, and the rest of your family. Blessings!

  • Samantha

    I have no idea what to say to you, but I am so sad that you are going through this.

  • http://atlandhkg.blogspot.com/ Regina

    Thank you for sharing something so personal. I know it must be extremely difficult and I can’t even begin to imagine the confusion and pain you must be feeling. Stay strong!

  • Mandy

    In the midst of what is unimaginable heartache, you’ve written a wonderfully articulate and insightful lesson for us all to take heed. I am truly sorry to hear of your Mother’s diagnosis, but am heartened by your positive outlook. She’s truly a lucky woman to have a support like you and it sounds like she’s a hell of a fighter. Know the lessons you’re learning are being amplified by us all. Best wishes to you, your Mother, and your family.

  • http://shannonleimua.com/ Shannon Lei

    Prayers go out to you, Allison! Life is never what we plan it to be but know that you are NOT put through things that you cannot overcome. Just like others have said, I’m not sure if you’re Christian but remember that God is greater than any disease. He can perform miracles, just like the ones you said you heard of! Stay strong. xx

  • Imelda Castaneda

    Allison, the emotions you are going through I can only try to imagine. My dad recently had a cancer scare, thankfully it was just that, but during that time I tried to imagine life without him. I couldn’t wrap my head around how life would be so different if he wasn’t around. How would my mom live without him. How would we live without him. How will holidays or joyous occasions be celebrated without him. It was heartbreaking to think about. I’m so sorry that you and your family have been touched by this ridiculous and unbelievable disease… I pray that God gives you, your family and your beautiful momma strength. Be with her, support her, and fight the fight with her! God does not give you anything you can’t handle. Sending you hugs from California! XXX

  • Arica Kelley

    thanks so much for your time to write your you followers. I do wish you the best in these times and As a Christian I will pray, for your mom and your with these times that are ahead. I to went through the same thing actually it exactly like it with my Aunt, we were like glue….never apart. I hope that your days are blessed and memories will unfold for you, as these are the good and bad time.
    Love,
    one of your followers

  • Yolennie

    My best wishes go to your mom and the rest of your family, I will be praying for you. Girl, you stay strong and beautiful and keep on inspiring others the way you have always been. Lots of love,
    Yolennie

  • http://www.rebeccalately.com/ Rebecca Lately

    I am so sorry, Allison. I hope that your mom pulls through and that you have many, many more years with her! My prayers are with you!

  • Rebecca Currence

    My mom never smoked either, and yet she got breast cancer when i was younger. when i started college in 2006, it came back in her lungs. at that point i knew we had time. it was just cells, no full tumors. A few years ago, though, we got the word…it had gone to her bones, and i knew i had no more time. i was right, too. she was gone within 7 months.

     

    no matter how it goes, air out your dirty laundry (if you have any) and make special memories. even if she lives for another 20 years, you won’t regret it. i got lucky with my mom and since things with us weren’t always good, i was glad we got a lot cleared out before she died.

     

    also be sure to take care of yourself. when things are crazy stuff will slip through the cracks. don’t let it, because you’ll feel worse and worse.

     

    a lot of folks are here for you if you need to talk. i hope all goes well for you and your family.

  • http://www.natalielovesbeauty.com/ Natalie Loves Beauty

    So sad to hear Allison. There is hope – I recommend you both read the book “The China Study”. Research has shown that cancer is curable through transitioning to a plant-based lifestyle – for both prevention and curing even in advanced stages. The body has the power to heal itself when provided with the right food without the need for drugs. xx

  • Aparna Kalra

    Stay strong Allison <3 You were one of the first people that I subscribed to on youtube years ago when I was only 13, and now I am 16 and I feel like you have been an amazing role model for me and that you are truly a fabulous person and deserve the best in the world. I love you, and I will pray for your mother and for you.

    –Aparna (:

  • Cindi

    Hug her now and make the most of every moment you have together. Have fun together and make precious memories. Make a bucket list together, and do it, no excuses. No waiting for tomorrow. Thoughts and prayers are with you my beauty buddy.

  • Rebecca Aschen

    Oh Allison, this news truly breaks my heart — especially as a daughter who understands the unique specialness of each mother/daughter relationship. I am truly blown away by your ability to share your vulnerability, whilst remaining so incredibly strong (a strength I am certain is attributed to your incredible mother). It is inspiring to see you pull from this trying time, life lessons, and confront change and challenges with an awareness and appreciation for how these moments mold you and help you grow! As a subscriber from the early stages of your channel, I have always found your videos to be a bright spot in my day — a gift. I hope in return, as a loyal subscriber, I can repay the gift with support and warm, positive thoughts for you, your mom, and all of your loved ones! Enjoy your family and take time for yourself — Thinking of you and wishing you luck and good health! XX

  • Hina Naz

    Oh I am so sorry to hear about this.

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  • http://valentinaduracinsky.blogspot.com/ Valentina Duracinsky

    so sorry to hear about this…
    much love to you and your mom and your family xxxx

    Valentina
    Valentina Duracinsky Blog

  • YuriG

    I am so sorry to read such sad news :( And even tho I don´t have any inspiring quote or life story, I wanted you to know that I am here for you, that WE- your followers, are here for you…. and this may not be a lot of comfort, but it´s the best we can do. And I will pray for you mom to respond well to treatment and live many more years…and for you and your family to be strong and at peace.

  • http://herphilly.com/ Her Philly

    You are a strong lady, Allison. Thinking of you & your sweet momma!

  • Rachel Ho

    I read your post with a heavy heart and I’m incredibly saddened by this news. As with most people on here, we don’t actually know you but you’re like an old friend and we share in your pain and sadness. Wishing your family (especially your mom) all the strength in the world. Keeping you in my thoughts :-)

  • katie

    So sad to read your news, however, you’re right in saying that she’ll be one of the miracles. My mom too was diagnosed with cancer and although it was caught early I still worry that it could come back, stronger. Enjoy each day with her, the good days and the bad, and make sure you tell her you love her. I find that always helps me to appreciate her and makes me remember how lucky I am that she’s here. Thinking of you and your family. xox

  • scl

    Allison, I just watched your favourites video today and left a comment on it, but I didn’t comment on what you’d said about things going on in your life, as I thought that it would be best not to pry. However, I’ve just come onto your blog and now read this and felt compelled to write. I don’t quite know what to write, I haven’t glanced at the comments below as I wanted to just write to you with my own thoughts. You are not alone, as you said, but I’m sure you can feel alone at times. It’s horrific news but people do survive and beat cancer. I feel your pain but also your hope and fight. You are so full of love and positivity, it radiates from my laptop and I know how ridiculous that sounds. Good luck to you and your family. Lots of love from the UK xxx

  • http://www.theviewisbeautiful.blogspot.com/ Nadia

    Thank you. For choosing to share this little piece of your life with us, for letting us be there for you in this obviously difficult time, for being the type of person who puts their family first. You and your mother are an inspiration to us all. I hope you don’t take offence when I say that I will pray for you and your family, because it is the only thing we can do. I always look forward to your work, but take all the time that you need. As cheesy as it sounds, you have given us all so much of yourself, and all I can give you is patience and prayers, so I will.

  • Andrea

    Wishing your mother & your family all the best during this difficult time. Stay strong! <3

  • http://painfreekitchen.com/ Rachel

    I was a junior in college when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He was in IL and I was miles away in DC. Life stopped. And the worst part was he decided to keep it from me for 6 months because he didn’t want me to worry. Thankfully he had great doctors and 7 years later he is still living. At some point it just becomes about quality of life rather than a cure. If your mother’s doctors can find a way to keep the cancer from spreading, and keep your mother feeling OK, then you will have many more years with her. And if not, you will cherish the time you do have together. I can’t believe I still have my dad while my best friend’s dad past away suddenly (and extremely unexpectedly) last year (at age 63). I know this doesn’t sound right, but sometimes I think cancer was much better than what my friend went through. My dad’s cancer got me to move back home and spend a lot more time with him to enjoy the time we have left. Not everyone is that lucky.

  • http://www.lauralovesbeauty.co.uk ~ Laura ~

    Alison I’m sending positive thoughts to your family and mum, all the best and thank you for this personal post, put your family first and we will be here x

  • http://chelseamakeup14.blogspot.com Chelsea

    I’m so sorry to hear that your mom has cancer! I know it’s a hard thing to hear, when a loved one has cancer. My grandparents on my dad’s side both had lung cancer and my grandpa on my mom’s side had colon cancer. It was really hard when my family found out that they had cancer. Thankfully, they all responded to treatment well and they’re still here today! :) I’ll keep you, your mom and your family in my prayers. <33

  • Cynthia

    I understand how you feel completely. A few years ago my father in law was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of brain cancer and what followed was a very difficult 2 years. Not long after his passing, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. As of now she’s cancer free, but struggling with complications from reconstructions. Through all of this what I’ve learned that I can do from the sidelines is always lend a helping hand, let them cry on your shoulder (whoever needs it at the time), and it’s ok to breakdown yourself sometimes but always be honest and truthful with those around you. You don’t have to always be positive for yourself or others, even in front of others. Sometimes being vulnerable and honest instead of a pillar of strength for everyone is actually the best way to be the friend everyone needs. I wish your family, and most of all your mom, all the luck in the world on the journey ahead. And the most important tip of all for yourself: don’t forget to think about and remember the little things.

  • Elektra King

    Hey Allison,
    I’ve already read your post right after you posted it and I didn’t comment because I know that there is absolutely nothing I can write that helps you or make you feel better :-( But after several days I really feel that I should let you know how deeply sorry I am for your mom, you and your family. Like so many others I love your videos and your positive way of life. Stay strong in this difficult time and thanks so much for sharing this with us!

  • http://perlasancheza.blogspot.com/ perlasancheza

    I’m so sorry Allison. I hope your mom and your family get through this. I will keep both of you in my thoughts. I would like you to know that I love your videos and blog. I have been subscribed to you since I was in college and your videos/posts have always brightened up my day. I hope my favorite quote can do the same for you: “The mighty oak in the forest was once just a little nut that held its ground.”

  • Ka Lo

    Allison, you are very brave to have share this news with the people who watches your videos an follow you. You are very lucky to be surrounded by friends and family that care about you, and you’ve made the right decision to be next to your mom. I wish the best to you and your family.

  • lakoenen

    Will be keeping your mother and you, your family and loved ones inmy prayers

  • Sophie Gervais

    Stay strong, take care or your mom, and we’re all here for you xx

  • dawn seow

    Hi Allison, I’ve followed your youtube channel and blog for a few years now but have never commented on your blog (hello all the way from Singapore). My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time. Be strong and stay positive!

  • Ashley Kay

    I know that this isn’t really the same situation, but I felt it was worth sharing. My nephew, my eldest sisters second child, was born 6 weeks early. We weren’t overly concerned until 2 weeks later when (Joey, they named him) was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called Beckwith-Weidemann syndrome, which basically means his body was growing to fast for him to handle. He was great for awhile, and we all hoped that he would be fine, even thought the 1/5 survival rate wasn’t in our favor. Eventually though, his organs were starting to shut down and he passed away at 2 months old. But I’m so so so greatful for the time I got to spend with him, and I love him dearly. You and your mom and you’re entire family are so so strong, and I can’t imagine his ever happening to me. I know that even if it doesn’t end the way you want it to you are so strong and you’ll all fight through it. You and you’re mom are such strong people and my thoughts and prayers are with you and you’re family and I hope your mom has many many many years to come to spend with you!

  • Noëmi

    Allison (and Allisons mom)
    I only just saw this blogpost and first of all, I’m touched that you decided to share this with us. I can’t imagine how devastating it must be. This might sound a bit cheesy (as I don’t really know you) but I wish you, your mom and your family strenght to get through this difficult time.
    I know you said there are happy days but I hope you never feel like you have to film videos or write blogsposts. We – your subscribers – are always here for you.
    The best to you and your mom!
    Noëmi

  • Susana Graça

    Miracles do happen. Unfortunately, I’ve found myself praying for one, way too many times in my life. Although none of my family members was blessed with a miracle, they do happen. I belive that with all my heart. We’ve all heard the stories and that help us keep the faith. Your mom can be one!
    My thoughts are with you all!

  • Athena Politou

    Allison, I’ve been watching your videos for quite a long time, and you seem to be a very nice and genuine person. I feel so touched reading this post, I’m truly sad to hear this about your mom. My mom is my best friend and my confidante and the best mother in the whole world, even the thought that something like that could happen to her makes me shiver. Your post was beautifully written, I love how you described the process of dealing with a situation like that. My prayers go out to you and your family,I wish you all the best. Stay strong, girl 😉 <3

  • Guest

    Stay strong! I’ll be praying for you, your mother and your family. Sending love and positive thoughts in your way. <3

  • Martha Braga

    Stay strong! I’ll be praying for you, your mother and your family. Sending love and positive thoughts in your way. <3

    Love, from Brazil.

  • Vivian Tsak

    I am so sorry to hear about your mother… I can’t even imagine how hard it has to be for you and all her loved ones… I hope you stay strong and support her all the way and I obviously hope your mother gets well and beats cancer!!!

  • kylenrose

    Allison, I have watched your videos and been a fan of your blog for a very long time. I am going through something very similar with my own mother. I am an only child and she is a single parent, so I can understand the pain and frustration you might be feeling at this time. My mother has stage four bile duct cancer that has spread into her liver. She is also incurable. But this isn’t about me. I am very okay most days, but I know that feeling of not being able to make it other days. I found out about her cancer a few months before I graduated college in Portland, Oregon and have now moved up to Washington to help her as much as I can.

    My mother found a story about a young father and husband who lost his wife to cancer. He told his son that thinking about it too much was like staring at the sun. You can glance at the sun, but you shouldn’t stare. I have found this little anecdote helpful for some reason. Maybe you will too.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. It makes me feel less alone, and i hope you have found a similar sort of peace in this post.

  • Brittney Clark

    Allison,
    I cannot believe I am only now reading this. However, I knew I had to say something. I just wanted to let you know how truly sorry I am to hear this. The beautiful words you wrote about your mother brought me to tears. I remember in an old video of yours, a question something a long the lines of “if you had one wish, what would it be?” came up and your answer was to have more time with your family. So when I read this I could only imagine how feel. I have been through something similar with a very dear friend. He was given only a year and told his cancer was incurable. Like your mom, he was extremely strong, and kind, and just a wonderful person. He ended up beating cancer and living another twenty five years of his life. He was a walking miracle, but it was his strength that kept him going. Your mom will beat this. If your family is anything like you (and I just know they are), then she has some absolutely amazing people around her to help her through this. Hugs from Canada.

    Brittney

  • Viola

    Dear Allison,

    I have been watching your videos for a long time – you are actually one of the very few YouTubers that could watch all day long without getting bored. Maybe that is because you look exactly like my old roommate, therefore familiar, or maybe just because you seem like a genuinely nice person. Either way, I think you are fabulous.
    When I was 13 my cousin died of cancer. I believe it was around the second time I really encountered cancer. I clearly remember how my brother and I were watching Spongebob Squarepants when my mum entered the living room and told us that our cousin had died. I could not believe that the TV just kept going, I could not believe that the world didn´t stop spinning. How could everyone else possibly get on with their lives while a happy and loving person had just left this world? I was devastated.
    Last year my grandfather died. He did have cancer but he was 83 (well, almost) and he died of something similar to a heart attack. Weirdly enough I woke up in the middle of the night that he died. Later I found out it was pretty much the exact same time he had died. I looked at my alarm clock and it had gone really funny: it didn´t show any numbers and all I thought was that I should change the batteries. When my great grandmother died, the clock stopped in their house. Well, what I am trying to say is, that the world stops spinning. Maybe just for a little bit. And maybe my alarm clock was in need of a change of batteries but I like to believe that the world stood still to remember a lovely man.

    I am not a very big fan of Lance Armstrong but what I found remarkable about him was how he treated cancer. He simply didn´t give up. I think that´s the key. I recently read an article about a young child that had incurable cancer and by very intense and new treatment she survived. But I am sure that willpower and being surrounded by loving people can beat any disease.

    Whether or not you read this, I wish you and your family all the strength and support in the world. Keep your head up!
    All the best

  • Elisabeth

    Hey Allison,
    I just wanted you to know that I was very touched by your story and after reading this post, the only thing that I wanted to do was encouraging you to keep up the positivity. It doesn’t matter how things turn out to be in the end (although we are all hoping for the best here), a positive perspective will always be good in life and help you through the rough times. And I’m sure not only me, but also all of your beloved readers, will keep you and your mum in our toughts :) Stay strong!

  • Else

    Thank you Allison for posting this. I’m so sorry to hear your mother has cancer. Your story touches me, as I am also very close to my mother and she has cancer as well. At the time of her diagnosis, my mother’s ovarian cancer had also already spread and everything wasn’t looking too bright to say the least. It was a scary, rollercoaster time with lots of emotions (just like you said). But now, 5 years later, she is still going strong. However, we do know some day she will die of the cancer she has (it is incurable). Now and then I get really sad because of the thought of not being able to hear her advice and wise words when she’s gone. Like your mother, she’s my person. But she’s a fighter and was lucky to be included in a trial that has helped keep her cancer to stop growing. We just hope this medicine keeps on working.

    I really hope your mother will also respond to the treatment she gets. I wish you and your family all the strength. And also, it is okay to cry from time to time or to be angry at the world.

    Thanks again for sharing, it makes me feel less alone.

    Love from the Netherlands,
    Else

  • Joyce Enjoydotcom

    I must say, I’m most touched by the paragraph where you speak about the world and everyone it it keeps spinning.

    That exact thought I had after my mom very suddenly passed away: “How can anybody go on with their life, smiling, laughing, when my mom is no longer here. Don’t they see the pain we [my brother and I] are in.” when we were picking out the flowers for her funeral at the florist. It’s been 7 years ago last June, but that feeling is so recognizable. It instantly hit a note when I read it.

    I wish you, your mom and your family all the strength and love to cope with this aweful thing life has thrown you in the face.

  • Rebeka Kováts

    “For i can do everything trough Christ, who gives me strength” i always go back to this quote, when things get hard. :)♡

  • http://www.beautybumper.blogspot.com/ Camilla

    Good luck from Denmark, so sad to read about this..

  • Bianca Cos

    Thank you for allowing us to be with you during this difficult time. I truly wish that a miracle cure would appear out of nowhere for Cancer. My father is battling prostate cancer which has spread to the bones. I was in so much pain for 3 years fearing that he would die. Then one day I realized that it wasn’t in our hands and gave all my fears and sadness to the Lord. I respect if you are not a religious person but rest assured that I will keep your mother in my prayers along with the many who need comfort and healing. My father is still with me and I am thankful for that everyday. I respect your decison to spend quality time with your mother and family. We miss you but now I know that you are doing what your heart wants for you to do. God Bless you and your entire family.

  • Angela Pierce

    Allison, I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s diagnosis. I’ll be keeping both of you in my thoughts and sending all the positive and healing vibes your way. <3 Your mother sounds like an incredible, strong woman, and the apple does not fall far from the tree. :) My mother was diagnosed with stage three bilateral breast cancer when I was a child, so I know this is a very difficult time for you both. Thank you for sharing, and I wish the best of luck to you guys.

  • Valbona Shemo

    Stay strong! Spend every minute with your mom, but never give up! Praying for your family ❤️ – Valbona

  • Shreya

    Allison,

    I have been watching your videos for a long time now and you are such a beautiful person inside and out! <3 Stay strong and positive! Your mom and family are in my thoughts!

    Love you!

  • Kristina

    I completely agree and have experienced your feeling of despair at the world around you continuing to go on as you are dealing with something that you feel is so important and overwhelming. Although as a viewer it is impossible to know the “true you”, I can confidently say that your love for your family and mother will be the force that will guide you gracefully through this process. As a student on an oncology ward this spring, a good friend to a mother watching her son be diagnosed with cancer this May and even myself going through the biopsy process this month my life has revolved around cancer the past few months. However, as much as the C word can evoke feelings of fear and devastation, I have also witnessed strength, courage, love, support, wisdom and selflessness. In every situation there is good and bad. I only hope that in yours there is more good than bad. Wishing you all the best..<3

  • http://lippylash.blogspot.com lippylash

    Hi Allison, I just wrote a comment on your youtube channel about me moving to LA and wanting to bump into you. Now I feel stupid because this is just so ridiculous after reading this. I wish you, your mom and your entire family all the best of luck. I feel the same way about my mom as you do and cannot image how you must feel. One thing is for sure, your uplifting spirit and outlook on life will help her a lot. I can imagine you get that from her! DOn’t give up hope!! Big hug to both your mom and you!

  • syk1004

    Allison, I’m so saddened and my heart cries to hear of your news…. My father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 2 years ago and he was only given a few weeks to couple months to live. But with amazing faith and prayer by family, community and loved ones from near and far, it’s with the grace of God that he’s still alive today. I help take care of him and most days are difficult but I’m grateful that he’s still here with us. I will pray for you and your family and I have confidence that the strength you provide your mom will give your mom the strength to live a very long time to come. Also I think acupuncture could provide a lot of relief and help healing~ best wishes to you! Xoxo!

  • Rachel Marie

    Allison, I have been a subscriber on here and youtube for many years. I am so devastated to read this. I have lost one uncle to lung cancer and another fighting right now. What I can say is that they gave my uncles a small amount of time and they both lived/are living years past that date. They too have incurable lung cancer and had chemo & radiation to slow it’s progression. I am so sorry. I know the pain of hearing that diagnosis & the roller coaster that comes along with it, but I don’t know what it feels like to know my mother is fighting. Spend all your time with your family, it is more important than any blog or Youtube channel. Your momma needs you and you need her. Just know, you have a world of viewers & readers who are here to help pick you up and provide you comfort at a moments notice. <3

  • lucy12

    I just watched your August Favorites video and decided to check out your blog. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers. What’s your mom’s name? My younger sister was diagnosed with breast cancer last summer – she’s only 32. It was heartbreaking but as her older sister I had to be strong and be there for her. I went to all her appointments and helped her with her kids. Our family has always been close but now we are closer. What I’ve learned is that you have to enjoy and be thankful for every minute and every moment. She’s all done with her treatments and now we just have to live life. I worry but I prey. I’m sending you a big hug.

  • Erika

    Allison,

    Like so many of these people, I have watched you on YouTube for years, and like so many of them have stated, you have helped me out immensely. A little over 5 years ago, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. It was the end of my senior year of high school, and while everyone else was consumed with things like prom and where they were going to college, I was consumed with my mom’s illness. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I didn’t know how to cope. I felt so alone and naturally many of my friends didn’t understand. It was around this time that I discovered YouTube. Beauty videos became my mental and emotional escape while I was away at college feeling overwhelmed with being away from my mom at such a hard time. My point is that you have no clue the amount of people you have touched just by sharing your loves and interests online, and although, I do not know you personally, I feel like I do. You helped me when my mom was sick, and now that I’m out of college and in the real world, you and other “beauty gurus” continue to be my escape when life gets rough. Ultimately, my mom beat the cancer and although she still struggles with illness every day, she is alive and the most positive person I know. I know what it is like to feel like to think you are going to lose your best friend, but I want you to know that you and your mother will make it through this tough time. Just keep your head up and know you aren’t alone.

    -Erika

  • lauren

    my uncle also has incurable cancer and is in his mid 50’s. it breaks my heart because he is the most special person and my moms only sibling. i too have the hope that treatment will keep it at bay and he can live a long life to see grandchildren and weddings. i hope the same for your mom! sending you tons of love and prayers because it is positivity that will help you through not dwelling on what ifs.

  • Michelle Etienne

    So sorry to hear that. Will keep your mom in my prayers, stay strong!

  • Roksana Zgierska

    Allison,
    when I was reading your post, my first thought was ” I’ve been there”. Two years ago my amazing Mum was diagnosed with cancer. One day everything was fine, next day my world collapsed. The news came unexpectedly and I thought it was some sort of a bad joke or, at least a nightmare that I would soon wake up from. It took us off guard as it was just a regular checkup. And bam! Stomach cancer which at that time had spread to breast, liver, bones, lungs.. basically everywhere. The chances of survival at this point were extremely slim. I remember looking at people and wondering, just like you, “How is the earth still spinning”.
    When the doctors told me my Mum was probably going to die, I said “No”. I decided to fight against everything. My Mum underwent the complete resection of stomach, mastectomy and couple of round of chemo. It was hard, but i NEVER,even for a moment lost my hope and faith. and I did not allow my Mum to go to pieces. I do believe that God helped us a ton. We fought together, as hard as we could. and we WON, which was a sort of a miracle.
    Today, she is sooo much better. Metastases shrunk. It turns out you can function quite well without your stomach( who would have thought?!) She’ s feeling really well and is very happy with her life, We’re hoping that it will stay that way.

    I’m telling you this, just to give you some hope. There’s alwasy some sort of light, even in the darkest of nights.
    Never stop fighting. Never stop believing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Xo,

    Roksana

  • Theresa

    Allison, I can feel your pain. My mom too, was diagnosed with lung cancer. She did smoke, but she stopped fairly young. She hasn’t smoked in gosh 45 years??? She was lucky, she had half of her lung removed and is doing ok.

    I know way too many people who are or have been affected by cancer. It is a horrible disease. I truly hope your mom has that miracle. So, I am glad you are there to spend time with her. Be positive…it really does help.

    Momma Anderson, be well, be positive and live! You are in my prayers!

  • Blanka

    Hello Allison , im so sorry for what has happened and i wish your mom the best. I as you mom got a lump on my neck in january and got diagnosed with lymphoma. I was angry at the world to im only 24 how can this happen i havent abussed anything in my life. But i got my self up and decided that this is just another obsticle that im going to cross. Im 2 months free of cancer know and the best advice i can give your mom is to be happy. I know it sounds strange but i swear your mood and happines is stronger than those medicine they give u. The happier and positive you are the better respond to treatmend u have. So just be there to support you mom and make her happy. Im hopefull that everything will work out in the end just stay strong, possitive and most of all happy :) good luck

  • Catharina

    I have subscribed to your chanal for years now and i love seeing your videos pop up in my subscriber list. To me you seem like a kind,caring and honast person, and i am so sorry for the hardship your family is going through. I work as a nuse so i have been caring for people with canser many times. And what i have learnd is that you can live long beyoned the time you are given if you don’t lose hope.. Hope is a powerful thing.. I will keep you all with me in my hart and i hope that your journy will end well.. lots of love..

  • Galliesallie

    I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. You are right to never give up hope. Please search on “mms cancer” and research what it is. They sound like a bunch of wing nuts and the internet will tell you how dangerous it is, but I’m using it on myself for Lyme and having great results. I’m getting my life back. There are testimonials on YT also. It could possibly save her and is compatible with any medical treatment she may be receiving.

  • Freda

    Allison, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My dad has been battling cancer too. It is a terrible thing to witness. I have cried harder recently than I have in over 20 years. We have been praying a lot and my dad is standing on God’s word for healing too. Research CBD oil, I have been amazed at what I see. If you have further questions, let me know. CBD oil is legal. Please keep us posted and I’ll be praying for her healing too.

  • Jillian Casarez

    I am so very sorry to hear about your mother. I have been watching your videos for a few years now, and you are my most favorite person to watch. I did realize that you weren’t posting as often, and now it is clear that you are very busy with life right now as you should be! I’m a faithful subscriber to you especially since we share a commonality in the state where we are from! I will be sending positive thoughts your way, and to your mom as well. You both seem like strong women, and you inspire me to be a positive person!

    Take care,
    Jillian

    P.S. Go Seahawks 😉

  • Marie

    Allison I absolutely love your videos and blog. They always put a smile on my face just as chatting to a friend would. Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers. Know that Jesus Christ loves you, and I hope you and your family love Him too.

  • Adaleta Avdic

    I am so glad to see this post and know that you are amazing just for sharing this with the YouTube, blog and internet world! I’m so sorry to hear of your struggles but I know that you will get through this, your mom will get through this and be an outlier, and you will continue building the unexpected experiences that life has to throw our way. My younger brother was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes a few years ago and at that point, we were so nervous because there were a lot of physical things going on with him that we did not know how to handle. We weren’t sure his diabetes would be manageable because one day his sugar level would skyrocket to 450 and them the next it would drop to 40. It was unpredictable, unexpected and just earth shattering to see my younger baby brother go through this, and all alone (my parents and I didn’t know anything about the management at first.) A few years later, he still struggles, but his body isn’t going high and low on a regular basis and he hasn’t had additional troubles with breathing and allergies, like he did before. Although it seemed almost impossible and just insurmountable in the beginning, my family and I have come to a place where we are educated enough to help him, and his status has definitely become more stable. I know that comparing diabetes and cancer is not even plausible, but I wanted to share my personal emotional experience with you because I had gone through a hard time with him being my younger brother and me not knowing how to help him in the slightest. You will certainly get through this and your mom will get better :)

    I am certainly also going to keep you and your family in my thoughts. No doubt about it!!

    xx,
    Ada

  • Diana

    Your mom sounds like an amazing person. May you find strength in this phase of life and thank you for sharing your story. <3

  • Kristina Farney

    Hi Allison, first of all sending many prayers to you, your mom and family! I have watched you for several years now, and you have always been one of the very few people on youtube that I felt a connection with. You are real, down to earth, and just a pleasure to watch! Last year my grandmother passed away from cancer, she had it for 3-4 years, lung cancer… it was an incredibly hard time, because 3 years before that I lost my Aunt, other Grandmother and uncle in a matter of 3 months and before that, I lost my Grandfather, on my mothers side, and my uncle. It never seems to end, but after may, when my grandmother on my mothers side passed away, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She was diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma, it was a very scary, stressful and heart breaking time. However, she went for chemo, and in a matter of months, she was cured. she is in full remission and I am so blessed that god has granted me the blessing of having her for more time. I can only wish and pray for the same outcome for you and your mom, that you have much more time to come. Miracles happen everyday my friend, and even though I had gone through a lot, and lost many family members including my grandmother my best friend, god granted me a miracle of having my mom for a while more. Beautiful things do happen! So I hope you are enjoying each and everyday, always pray and know that you have a great amount of friends here praying along side with you! Hope everything gets better and god grants you many miracles too!

  • Jadyn Watson-Fisher

    Allison, you have always been one of my favorite youtubers simply because I can always tell that you are genuine. There has always been a no crap kind of feel that I get when I watch your videos. I never feel like you are hiding anything for personal benefit. This post broke my heart; my dad died of kidney cancer when I was 10 years old. It is also considered incurable (at least it was at the time). I am now 18. I can empathize with your emotions. Do not feel bad for how you feel. Your life has been presented with a huge surprise. No matter what happens, you will make it. There are days where you will feel like you cannot go on, but you can and you will. Your mom is so proud of you, I’m sure. Let that be your motivation to keep going. This will help you reach out to people you never would have expected to help. I will be praying for you.

  • Megan

    Hi Allison,

    I have literally never left a comment on any of the youtube videos or blogs I watch, but I had to comment on this because I lost my mom to lung cancer three years ago and I can relate so much to what you’ve written. I’m 24 and lost her when I was 21, and not a day goes by that I don’t wish I could pick up the phone and call her and find out that it was just a terrible dream.

    My mom was my best friend too, and I remember so clearly the feeling you describe of not understanding how the whole world doesn’t feel your pain like you do. My heart truly goes out to you and your family.

    I am really glad you’re hopeful; I was the same way when my mom got diagnosed in the summer of 2011. Sadly, she passed Christmas of that same year… lung cancer can take her much sooner than the doctors might tell you.. I think you should know that. I also think you’re doing such a wonderful thing by staying positive for your mom. She needs that. But what nobody tells you is that she also needs you to be sad with her, too. That is something I wish someone had told me when my mom was sick. I was almost too hopeful, and I never truly absorbed the reality of the situation while she was still here. I never had the ‘heart to heart’ conversation(s) with her that I imagined I should have had. I would give everything to go back in time and tell her exactly how much she meant and how much I would end up missing her. I regret now trying to stay positive for her and everyone around me all the time, when what I should have done is to cry with her and treat the situation a little more realistically.

    I’m not trying to be negative or to scare you… you are probably doing all the right things for your mom and for yourself. I just want to let you know how important it is to tell your mom every feeling you have, and to make the most of every second you have with her. I wish someone had told me. I truly hope she is the miracle case, because you really do seem like a genuinely good person who doesn’t deserve this.

    Tell her you love her, everyday.
    You’re in my heart.

  • Heidi S
  • Tallulah Flavell

    This is so sad to hear, but I wish you and your mother happiness and of course that she can get better. Think positive thoughts Allison! Thank you for taking the time to explain this to us readers. Stay strong <3

  • Shannon

    Allison, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother having lung cancer! My grandma passed away almost a year ago in December. She also had lung cancer. I was 6 months pregnant when I found out, and although she wasn’t ready to hear the next news.. we found out that she only had 3 months to live. I ended up having my son a month early, which was actually a HUGE blessing. He was as healthy as can be, and my grandma got the chance to meet him!! She ended up losing her battle exactly 3 months after her diagnosis. I’m not saying this to upset you in the least bit, as I can tell from your above post your mom is a fighter! I was crushed when I found out my grandma was sick, it wasn’t my families first fight with cancer. When I was around 6 my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has been in remission for over 10 years. His doctor did warn him that my brother or me would end up with it when we were older. My dad got colon cancer in his early/mid 30’s. I’m 23 now. Thank you for sharing this story, and i’ll be praying for your mom to kick cancers butt!!

  • Jordan

    So sorry to hear about your mom. I will make sure to think about you guys! One of my classmates, her boyfriend never smoked and had stage IV lung cancer, and he is now cancer free, there was a drug approve just in time for him, I’m sure there is something out there for your mom too! (And if not hopefully soon)

  • Virginie

    So sorry to hear about this Allison ! I’m praying for your mum and your family as well as all people and families touched by this. Stay strong ! Sending all my love from London x

  • Chrisy

    Hi Allison, Firstly i would like to start off with i found your youtube channel as i recently started running and was searching running stuff and you popped up, for some reason i was pulled in to view your channel and and watch some videos i dont know what it was maybe your natural beauty or the fact come of as a genuinely nice person. But i thought i should write to you as i have experience in this topic. My mother also has cancer ovarian to be exact so i know timesmay not be the best but keep strong my mom was told her cancer was incureable and there was nothing doctors could do except keep giving chemo treatment to shrink the cancer but it will never go away, my mom like yours will kept fighting and fighting and 10 years on she is still fighting everyday some good days some bad. We can only keep trying and being as happy as we can be for them make sure they know the family is there snd support is there 110% 24/7, I dont know if you will read this but if you do and you would like to speak ever or have any questions or maybe just rant and de-stress feel free to email me anytime at chrisy-s-@hotmail.co.uk. Much love, Chris, From Scotland,Glasgow.

  • CK

    I have been a long time follower of your youtube channel. I happened to come to your blog today and found this post and completely understand what you’re going through. It is devastating news when you hear that a loved one has cancer…particularly when it’s your mom. My mom was diagnosed in June with colon cancer. Like your mom they’re saying my mom’s cancer is incurable and has spread to several of her organs. She has been undergoing chemo treatments and we will find out soon if it had any effect. Incurable yes but it can be treated….that’s the hope we hold on to. We hope we can treat it and prolong her life for as long as possible. It’s hard to not to think negatively…like is this the last summer I’ll have with her or why is this happening to us? Try not to let those thoughts bring you down. Try to stay positive but realistic. Don’t let your mom give up hope and enjoy every moment you have with her. And above all make sure she has a good quality of life. Wish you and your family all the best.

  • Bruna Lordello

    I’m a bit late with this post, but felt the need to drop a few lines, although I don’t know exactly what to say. But I guess that anyone who’s going through something like this could use a few comforting words…
    Well, the truth is that life can be wonderful and a total bitch at the same time. I’m sure your life has been head over heels now – your mom is so young afterall. But you have to stay strong, I am sure that’s what she wants. And I am sure that’s what you are. And will be, worst case scenario.
    I’ll keep you, your mom and your family in my prayers. I am sure her strenght is bigger than this cancer.
    Be well, Ali.
    We love you always. xo

  • Bridgit Masson

    This post made my eyes fill with tears. I can completely identify with what you are going through. My mum was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer and liver secondaries. It was complete shock as she was only 39 and had lived an incredibly healthy lifestyle (growing up on a farm, eating organic, having a health attitude towards exercise). It was earth shattering, devastating news to hear that she was not expected to see her 40th birthday. I was 13 at the time and just entering my teenage years I found it all pretty difficult to comprehend. But she persevered through chemotherapy and several operations and responded well to the treatment despite it doing more harm than good to her organs. 5 yeras on she almost made it into remission when they discovered more tumors in her liver. Another operation and some more chemo. And last year we celebrated her 50th birthday with a trip to New York! My mother is an absolutely remarkable woman. I doubt she would have made it this far if it wasn’t for her sheer determination and the support of our friends and family. Not once did she give up even when given the choice to throw in the towel with chemo. I am positive that your mom will come through this!! Take care of yourself during this tough time. xx

  • Bethan Thomas

    <3

  • Victoria

    A family friend was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer about 8 years ago or so. She was given months to live but they decided to try treatment anyways. Much to the doctors dismay, the tumour in her brain shrunk and she has been cancer free ever since! Even though they say it is incurable, you should always have faith that a miracle can happen!

  • Susan

    Allison, your story has tugged on my heartstrings. I miss the fire out of my mom and find myself asking ‘What would mom tell me to do in this situation?’ often. Like you, my mom wasmy biggest supporter and my best friend. It will be 2 months wednesday (10/22/14) that she lost her battle and I now have tears as I write about her. Take every moment with your mom that you can. Cherish every moment. Take lots of pictures. A woman from church gave my mom the book ‘Jesus Calling.’ It is a daily inspirational book and I have found myself reading it now that she is gone. She read it every day and marked specific passages in it. It helped her to see the positives when she was having a bad day. I wish your mom good vibes. Stay strong, both of you. There is healing in positivity and faith. I don’t know if you are religious, but know that God does not give us more than we can handle, but know He is right there to pick us up when we fall.

  • Geor Gina

    Praying for your mom, your family, and you.

  • Jolene C

    I literally cried when I was reading your story. Your story made me thinking of my own mom. I haven’t been home for almost two years because of school and work, even though coming to the US was my dream, I miss my family so so so much! I believe God will look after his children in his own way, don’t ever give up, stay happy and positive. Love

  • Anna

    Hi Allison,

    I got goosebumps reading this because a year ago I was in the same exact place as you. My grandmother was my person as well – she was smart, generous, funny, and ultimately my best friend. Then on May 28th, 2013 she was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer despite the fact that, like your mom, she was not a smoker. Sadly, I lost my beautiful partner-in-crime on February 22, 2014, four days before my 19th birthday. I was devastated and did not know how to carry on without her, knowing that she would not be around to see me graduate college or do any of the other things I hope to accomplish one day, but as time continues I have realized that she is still with me every single day. I know this doesn’t paint a very hopeful picture for you – but I just wanted you to know that no matter what happens your mom will always be with you, whether it is in person or in spirit. Stay positive because, like you said, miracles do happen! This experience has made me stronger and I know it will do the same for you. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and sending good vibes your mom’s way!

    <3

  • Allie Blaylock

    You’re a very strong woman, and this post touched me greatly. I admire you very much. My prayers are with you, your mother, and your whole family.

  • Jenn DaMore

    I too lost my person to cancer 2 years ago. My grandma had an inoperable brain tumor, diagnosed april 2012, by July it was gone, but they still needed to do chemo to be sure. In July she had low dose chemo and the chemo shut down her whole body and within 3 days, she was gone. I still hurt for her, and I’m now engaged to a man I met month after she died and I have a handkerchief she gave me when I was 11 to use for my wedding and it breaks my heart to not have her see my wedding. Keep strong.

  • naomi

    So sorry to read about your mom Allison,sending you hugs,stay strong.

  • http://www.hazearella.com/ Hazel

    Allison, I’m sorry to recently hear about your mother. She looks like a very kind, adventurous and compassionate person. I bet she had a lot of great stories to tell. And you are incredibly lucky to have a mom who stands by you, those of us who do are lucky and I’ve realized this seeing my husband’s mother turn her back on him when he needed her. Again.

    My own grandfather who was active and healthy and happy died of lung cancer when I was 9. My own mother had surgery to remove her cancer in 2002 I think it came back in 2012 but neither her or my husband would give me a straight answer. In 2004 my mom’s mom had to have her breast removed in order to remove the cancer and in 2011 my dad was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer.

    And I’ll admit, I never really had that “why is the world still spinning” feeling, maybe because I grew up with the word cancer thrown around. Everyone on my mother’s side has died of cancer. Everyone. And it’s a hard thing to deal with, a hard thing to swallow. And even if my grandfather has been dead almost 20 years I still miss him terribly. There were still things he promised to teach me. Projects we were still suppose to do. And it’s unfair that cancer takes away those who are close to us, who shape us into better people and the only question I have the energy for is…. why? Why him and not someone else? Why now?

    Sorry for the novel of a comment. I hope you find peace and I hope you know you are not alone and that your mother, I bet, is very very proud of the woman you’ve become. Sending you hugs and pixie dust from Walt Disney World <3.

    Hazel @ http://www.hazearella.com

  • danielleisms

    Hi Allison,

    I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I had thought of you and your mom recently and wondered how she was. I am so sorry to have found she recently passed. I can’t imagine how it felt/feels. My own mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in late 2013 and there have been so many ups and downs and right now she is trying to fight a major reoccurrence. Your post put my feelings into words better than I could have. I hope you’re finding healing and strength. <3